Patty was just unfriended for the third time this month. Why God why?

Alejandra thinks her boyfriend’s sexual technique needs some updating

Carlos work Rogaine! Work!

Natasha feels like she should have never left her husband

Cynthia forgot to take her birth control pill last night…on purpose.

Ilya wishes Bush were still President

Deirdre is just about ready to cash in her 401K for that mini face lift. Tax penalties be damned.

Roman is talking to the little people in his head, and it’s nice to connect for once.

I sometimes (gasp) question the utility of the internet, also known as the “interneta” when one is meandering through Europe desperate to touch base with friends and associates. As of late my efforts to answer life’s grand questions falls flat, especially when desperately in search of answers. Ironically also when seeking medical advice, the answers are there, but always worst case scenario!

The most recent efforts, as in “getting over an ex” revealed many pages about how to “win the ex back” usually redolent with fatal grammar and spelling errors. My search for “reinvigorating your career as a graphic designer” plopped me in front of lots of “motion design” URLs quoting smug inspired designers. And yet when the urgency isn’t there, I find the exact page and bit of information desired. Is there something to the aphorism of “it’ll happen when you’re not looking for it” that applies to internet searches? p.s. ever use that bit of wisdom on me and look to get smacked. Even with mapping, occasionally disaster falls. I looked up an address in the suburbs and found the streets mislabeled. Tragedy, travesty, and where do we turn? God forbid, our doctors, therapists, our own internal compass? As much as I want to know when Jennifer Aniston has last visited “Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf” on  Cayuhanga Blvd. I have more urgent informational needs from the internet, such as the Meaning of Life.

This month we’re featuring a guest contributor. He prefers to subsist under the radar, but he has a way with the words and with the advice. So now…heeeeeere’s Shlomo!

Shlom–, er, Lucky

Wendy Wasserstein, ever read her? Heidi Chronicles, Shiksa Goddess, An American Daughter? What do you think, come on, let’s sit and talk about her. And I don’t mean in the “coffee tawk” sense, chock full of yiddishkeit tacky irony. I mean let’s really think, and speak. There’s a good table over there in the corner, it’s not too drafty, and the playa with the loud ipod seems to be leaving. Phew, good. Ew, there’s a coffee stain there, oh good, let’s wipe it up.

Me: What have you read of hers?

Me2: Not a lot, her book of essays, Shiksa goddess, Heidi Chronicles, I keep meaning to read more.

Me: What interests you so about her?

Me2: She’s incredibly brilliant and yet verging on anachronistic. She has these beautiful way of crafting a detail or a thought, soulful and true. For example when she writes about writing itself, she described how she would take herself on writing vacations in Ann Arbor and London and Boston. Her descriptions of the hotels and waitstaff at each restaurant was so vivid, I felt like I was eating her broiled fish with her. Hmmm…I’m hungry. Also she was fiercely independent, she never married, chose to have a baby on her own, and had an arguably tragic life, as she died at 55 from lymphoma, leaving her daughter a orphan.

Me: What irritates you about her?

Me2: Well, the thing that jumps out at me are twofold: one is her Cathy comic sensibility. She writes ad nauseum in her book “Shiksa Goddess” about her struggles with weight, calorie counting, and other women’s thinner figures. The p.o.v. just seems so 80s! In addition, she was exceedingly private about her love life, a conspicuous dearth, since the plot points of her plays focus on male female relationships. Third is that she really did live a life of incredible privilege, an artist’s life in what I’m guessing was a pretty comfortable lifestyle. I’m pleased to see an artist succeed financially, but I’m wondering if she was mildly oblivious to her own material success.

Me: I sense you identify with her

Me2: What are you my therapist? At least write up the invoice for insurance return. Yes and no. I’m probably more physically confident, but also less successful materially and careerwise. I don’t identify as an intellectual nerd or wallflower. I must say I find her to be an enigma, because she was very determined to follow her own path but has this veneer of being self effacing.

Me: Well said!

Me2: Ok thanks. Now let’s integrate, this is getting weird.

me and me2: OK.

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